am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
