i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Life is so much better after having sex.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
