I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
