Small penises have feelings too.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
