You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
we're so committed to being not committed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
