do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
