Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So squirting runs in the family.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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