talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
