He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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