they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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