You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
