you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
