What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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