Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
