i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
