Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
