if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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