My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
