Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
