New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What a dumb baby whore.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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