I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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