you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
