i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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