Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
