I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
