when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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