Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
