If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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