EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
