Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
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Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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