it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Boobs are out for the taking
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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