if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize