Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
