everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
