ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My balls are so social today.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.