I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.