I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.