Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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