remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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