he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
