you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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