We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
ttyl tear gas
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
