Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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