I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
