mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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