SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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