I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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