If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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