i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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