i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
