Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
