if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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