Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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