Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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