I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
