I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
