I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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