Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
