Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
