I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
