If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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