She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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