Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
