The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
