No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
