Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So much rum. So many feels.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
