Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
